The Necessity of a Diary (part two)

diaryAMANDA

August 22, Friday

Dear Diary,

I haven’t been able to write for these past few days because of this Novel Analysis as a major requirement for midterms in my Novel class. We have been given an unfairly short list of choices for this requirement and there is nothing in the list which I have already read. So, I had to drown myself in reading all six books Mr. Florendo gave us. Can you imagine me reading two novels a week for the past three weeks while complying with other requirements and readings professors in my other classes keep demanding of us? Still, I was more than willing to do the extra mile of reading all the books just so I could choose the best material for my Novel Analysis. And at last, I have finally chosen the best of the rest and I am sure I will finish the analysis in no time. I have selected this novel which is set in 1986 about a young American girl and a young Korean boy who had the oddest but cutest romantic story. I could not wait to plot the details in my analysis. But before I do that, I cut myself a little slack by hanging out here at the library because it is after all our date. I mean, not exactly “our” date but I call it that because we both never miss this “date.”

Every Wednesday and Friday afternoons from 3 pm onwards, I go to the library and do my assignments here even though I could more comfortably do my work at home which is just a few blocks from the university. But because I know Jake will be here even when sometimes I still think it’s impossible, (because how can a guy like him want to stay at the library), I always make it a point to clear all my schedules on these days to get to be with him. We have been doing this for more than three months now on a tacit agreement which is easy given we have almost exactly the same schedule except for our extracurricular activities- his games and trainings and my practices with the glee club.

Sometimes, I’d like to think that he comes here at the library to see me on purpose but every time I see him with his group which is composed of a fairly high number of pretty girls and several handsome guys, I quickly annihilate the idea that he has even the slightest interest in me. I mean, how could he? I am “the geek.” I am the top dean’s lister at our department; I am a member of the glee club and the president of the Literature Major’s Society. I have physical shortage of what majority consider beautiful- average height, hair naturally but carelessly straight, glasses (which I think are major turnoffs), facial skin with obvious blackheads and whiteheads which won’t come off no matter how hard I try, a small gap between my two front teeth…so yeah, I’m definitely not his kind of girl. (I like my eyes and my dimples though.)

Perhaps, he finds working on our requirements with me highly motivating? He does not really let me check or edit his work because he does not even allow me a glimpse of a line he is writing but time to time, he would ask me what I think of this term or that, of this book or that, of this author or that. He seems very interested of my opinion especially of literature subjects. He also often laughs at my responses even if I do not intend to be funny. He obviously enjoys my company and that is most probably just that.

But whatever his reasons might be for being constantly present at our dates, I’m more than thankful. Just sitting beside him like this already gives me that obvious flutter in my stomach and that attention seeking thump of my heart that if he heard it, he would know the truth. But I hope it doesn’t show because I have been hiding these enormous feelings for him since we became classmates in senior high which makes that almost more than a year now. I am secretly in love with him and of course, I am smart enough not to give any clue.

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14 comments

  1. awww … oh the joys of sitting beside handsome .. the thrill of the chance to talk to him and also the horror of him thinking I’m too awkward … hahaha Dear Diary you’re the only one I trust with such feelings .. LOL ^^ keep it Aj!

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